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August 2011

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It's All In God Fun

 Evan was seriously trying to finish his homework, but his mind kept dragging him into the past. Back to when everything was fine. Before Kurt, before the Warblers, hell even before Dalton. He could see that Ethan was going through the same struggle. He smiled; glad he wasn’t the only one wanting to walk down memory lane today.

Finally he just let himself slip back into his own thoughts. Back to middle school and back when there was one other person the twins thought they couldn’t live without.

“Evan, hurry up or Ethan and I will leave you!”

“I am running as fast as I can! My shoes aren’t even on yet!”

The other blond sighed and turned around, beautiful green eyes looking at Evan as he shook his head. Ethan had stopped running and turned around, whining about how if they didn’t hurry up that their parents were going to kill them. The green eyed boy hushed Ethan and when Evan finally caught up he grabbed his hand and tugged him in the direction of home.

Evan swore at him and the boy looked over his shoulder and laughed.

“You know you love it when I treat you like this, Ev.”

“Shut the hell up, Knave!” He blushed as he snapped at the boy who was still laughing at him.

Evan looked up from his textbook to see Ethan was lost in thought. He laughed to himself, of course he was. He looked down at his book and decided that if he was doing to relive the good old days he needed to get some work done. He figured one chapter per memory would be fine.

Ethan wasn’t one to think rationally, he just went through his reel of memories and picked out the ones he wanted to relive. He had stumbled across one that was so bittersweet he couldn’t resist going through it again.

“Ethan! Explain yourself!” Ethan’s father was furious.

Ethan had come home from school that day to learn that his teacher had call about his behavior in class. He and Evan had gotten into an argument over something and he wanted revenge. This was the first time he had wanted to hurt his brother, to hurt himself.

Apparently he had attacked his twin in the middle of the courtyard when he had thought everyone was gone. Evan didn’t even realize what was going on until the back of his head hit the concrete. Ethan swung. Punch after ruthless punch, tears streaming down his face all the while.

Evan hadn’t fought back. Not a single punch, he never wanted to hurt Ethan. And if this is what his brother wanted, this is what he would give him.

“FIGHT BACK!” Ethan screamed at him.

“No,” Evan whispered through his bleeding, split lips.

That was when a teacher came running out of their classroom and pulled Ethan off his brother. The same teacher was the one that called the twins father.

“How could you be so immature? He is your brother! You never leave each other’s sides, and then you do this! Completely out of the blue! Pulling me away from a very important client! You should be ashamed of yourself!” Mr. Brightman smacked Ethan across the face as he finished his speech.

Evan was hiding in the other room, curled up in a ball and wincing when he heard the smack echo around his father and brother.
“This conversation is over,” Mr. Brightman explained as he turned and left the room.

Audee and Evan rushed into the room. Audee held her brothers close until she heard a knock at the door. She left the room and the two boys.

Ethan felt like he needed to explain his actions, but Evan raised his hand to signal for him to stop.

“The next time you are jealous, just tell me,” Evan walked out through the back door, leaving Ethan alone to greet the person who Audee was ushering in.

“Everyone is a little shaken right now,” She laughed.

Ethan turned to the boy in the doorway. Of course, green eyes stared back at him. He looked like he was torn between wanting to hold Ethan and wanting to scream at him. Logan took a few deep breaths and walked over to Ethan.

“I am sorry that your father hit you, but why would you attack your own brother?” Logan was genuinely confused. He had tried to find a reason, but came up with none.

Ethan tried to hold in a laugh, “You really are clueless, Knave” Ethan patted the other boy’s shoulder and left the room. He wanted to go make sure that Evan was truly okay.

Ethan smiled, not much has changed for Logan. He was still clueless. His green eyes could still make Ethan wonder what was under it all. And the twin still wondered what it would be like to kiss Logan’s lips, again. Both twins wondered, but never told each other. It was one of the only things they didn’t want to share.

They were sitting in the school’s library.

“Logan?” Ethan glanced up at the other boy through veiled lashes.

“Hmm?” Logan stopped reading his textbook.

“I…um… Have you had your first kiss yet?” Ethan blushed at the words that he had just said.

Logan nodded. It was with Evan. They were curious and didn’t see the harm in trying it out. It was soft, sweet, and the cutest thing ever. Evan wouldn’t look at him after and he just kissed his forehead and leaned against him. Evan had made Logan promise to never tell anyone, especially not Ethan. It hurt Logan, but he kept to his promise. Ethan didn’t learn about it until years later, for now he just nodded and looked off.

“Why do you ask?” Logan raised an eyebrow.

Ethan’s blush darkened as he tried to hide behind his textbook, “No reason!” 

“Uh-huh, well here I was thinking you wanted me to kiss you. Guess I was mistaken, Shame though, I would have done it,” Logan explained as he gathered his things.

Ethan’s hand shot to Logan’s wrist, “You would have?”

Logan nodded, “But what does it matter? You obviously weren’t interested.”

“I lied!” Ethan said a little too quickly.

Logan smirked, “Well then come on.” Logan pulled Ethan out of his chair.

“But my books!” Ethan pointed to the table.

“Will be here when we get back,” Logan said as he pulled him to the back of the library. 

Ethan laughed, “We are gonna get caught!”

“Not if you shut up,” Logan replied.

They got to the very back of the library where there was a door to a storage room. Logan looked around and then turned the knob and stepped inside, pulling Ethan with him.

He turned to the twin and smirked, “Will you ever stop blushing?”

Before Ethan could respond, Logan’s lips were on his. Unlike when Logan kissed Evan, this one was rough. He was overcome with curiosity. He wondered how Ethan would react. To his surprise, Ethan tried to deepen the kiss. He cupped the side of Logan’s face and pushed himself close to the other boy.

Logan was pleased by this and he wrapped his arms around Ethan, trying to get him even closer. Ethan pulled back shortly after, he needed air. He laughed and leaned his head on Logan’s forehead. 

Logan knew he was going to be walking a fine line with these twins. If this continued he would only want more and more. And not just from Ethan, but from Evan as well. 

Ethan had already fallen. He already wanted so much more from Logan, but he decided to wait until he knew how the other boy felt.
After regaining their composure the boys left the storage room and headed back to the table where Ethan’s things were. Ethan only said one thing the rest of the afternoon. 

“Please don’t tell Evan.”

Ethan laughed at himself. Those were when things were simple. They felt like they didn’t need anyone else. Ethan knew that it wasn’t going to last. Evan had convinced himself that he would have Logan and Ethan forever. That illusion was shattered by the one and only, Julian Larson.

It was during orientation at Dalton. 

The boys sat together, the twins holding each other’s hands. Logan was on the far end laughing at them. They just stuck out their tongues and made a comment about him being jealous. He just rolled his eyes and thought ‘of course I am, you fools.’

“Um, are these seats taken?” The blue eyed boy asked Logan as he pointed to the two seats on the other side of Logan. 
 
Logan just stared at him. The twins did the same. Never had they seen a boy so beautiful. Logan shook his head, “No, go ahead.” He was pretending to be uninterested.

The other boy smiled, “Thanks, I am Julian by the way,” he pointed over his shoulder and the other boy with him, “and this is Derek.

Logan and the twins waved and Derek and he just acknowledged them and sat down. Logan didn’t care much, he was more interested in the boy taking the seat next to him. Evan leaned close to Logan and whispered in his ear, “You may want to pick your jaw up off the floor”
Logan glared at him and the twins started laughing and leaning closer together.

The boy named Derek threw his head back, “UGH! Why do I have to go to an all boy’s school!”

Julian laughed, “Because if you didn’t you’d flirt with every girl on campus! Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if you got a girl pregnant before you graduate!”

Derek pushed him, “Says Hollywood’s heartbreaker, Julian Larson!”

Julian glared, “Shut up.”

Derek looked please with himself, “Tell me, Larson, how many girls have you dated?”

“That is something you will never know, Seigerson!”

The twins leaned forward to look at Julian. “Wait!” Evan commanded.

“You are the Julian Larson?” Ethan raised an eyebrow.

Julian only nodded and put his index fingers to his lips, telling them to keep it down. The twins smiled to each other and then at Logan. The boy wasn’t paying attention though; he was caught up in his own self pity. ‘Of course the boy is straight! Aren’t they always? You have got to stop getting your hopes up.’

The twins saw the look on Logan’s face and wanted to hold him, tell him it was alright. Evan settled for holding his hand out of sight of the other boys.

Evan glared down at his book as he remembered the day they met Julian. They grew apart every day since. Logan never even looked at him or Ethan anymore. They lost him. He lost him. The twins stayed in Winsor, Logan in Stuart. Julian and Derek were also in Stuart. They were Logan’s friends now. 

Evan and Ethan ended up creating the perfect game in their heads. Everyone they knew became characters from Alice in Wonderland. They even named Logan, Julian and Derek. The Knave, the Cheshire Cat, and the King of Hearts. It was their way of holding onto Logan. He may not talk to them anymore, but he was still part of their story. He was still with them, sort of.

But on days like this, when both twins were reliving just for the sake of holding on, they wondered why he suddenly acted so harshly towards them. The truth was he was afraid of getting so close to them again. If they asked him to pick one he wouldn’t be able to, but they didn’t know that.

There was a knock at their door; both boys looked at the door. “Come in,” They called.

David opened the door and walked in, “Hey, I am heading out to see Katherine; you want me to get anything on the way back?” He looked at the twins faces, he knew they weren’t okay.

“No thanks, Hatter.” Evan forced a smile.

David glanced over at Ethan, who smiled at him, “Alright, when I get back we should break out the nerf guns.” He hoped that the promise of a war would cheer them up. It did a bit. They laughed and agreed to it. 

When David left Ethan looked at his brother, “They sent Hatter in here.”

“I know.”

“They’re worried,” Ethan stated.

“Aren’t they always?” Evan laughed.

“Who do you think is the most worried?”

“Alice,” Evan closed his eyes as he thought of the newest edition to the Warblers, Windsor, and their Wonderland.

“Me too.”

Sure enough Kurt was pacing in his room, waiting for David to report to him. The twins laughed. Kurt was so motherly; it almost drove the Twins mad.

“Hey, Ev.” Ethan poked Evan’s arm.

Evan opened his eyes and looked at his brother, “Hm?”

“Do you think we will get over him?” He asked with audible pain in his voice, “Do you think we will ever fall for someone else?”

“I don’t know,” Evan said even though he did. They never would. Logan was someone they would never forget.

Comments

Hey there!

I'm glad I found that story.

It's interesting how you portray another side of the twins without writing them completely OOC. You always know the two as these crazy, 24/7-happy people, but everyone has their "dark times".
I like the fact that you included some flashbacks which show that their feelings for Logan have developed ages ago. It's kinda... fatal, they both got their first kiss from Logan without being aware of that for a long time.
It's ironic that first they were jealous of each other and in the end neither of them gets Logan and they both know they will never get over him.
The way you show the twins' relationship seems very realistic to me, cos in many other fics this relationship seems idealized, but siblings do have fights - especially when they are younger. Of course, they care about each other deeply, but sometimes being egocentric is just human, which is why I like that you've written "They lost him. He lost him.".
They also tell each other many things, are honest most of the time - but not always. But even if they are not honest with each other, the other one probably realises it.

There way just one tiny mistake: "He green eyes could still make Ethan wonder [...]" It should be "his" I suppose.

So, thanks for the story, although it's a bit sad.
Thank you so much for all the kind words and for pointing out that typo to me. This story isn't one of the happiest, but it will have it's moments.